I have been thinking a lot recently about time. January... ah January.... my world fell apart. I didn't think I'd make it from one minute to the next let alone until almost Septmeber. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.. couldn't focus on anything, and almost failed all my classes. A lot of therepy and crying... and here I am in August... strange how time can fly but yet seems to stand still.
The thing about pain though... well they say time heals all wounds... not so sure. I don't think about it all day every day any more. I can go short periods of time without thinking of that day. But sometimes when I least expect it, I'll have a flash of that day, and I feel as though I am there again, and I can't breathe, I feel like all this progress starts over. Will I ever trust completely again? will I always be this paranoid mess? Will I ever truly recover? I guess in my case maybe I need more time and therepy. I know it will be a long time before I can forgive, and I don't know that I will ever forget. But, with pain do we ever forget? Maybe when it lessens in time and the memory fades a bit. Guess only time will tell. Ironic isn't it.
Well all I have to say is thank God for my two besties. I would not be here today without thier love, support and patience.
No comments:
Post a Comment