Time keeps flowing like a river...

I have been thinking a lot recently about time. January... ah January.... my world fell apart. I didn't think I'd make it from one minute to the next let alone until almost Septmeber. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.. couldn't focus on anything, and almost failed all my classes. A lot of therepy and crying... and here I am in August... strange how time can fly but yet seems to stand still.

The thing about pain though... well they say time heals all wounds... not so sure. I don't think about it all day every day any more. I can go short periods of time without thinking of that day. But sometimes when I least expect it, I'll have a flash of that day, and I feel as though I am there again, and I can't breathe, I feel like all this progress starts over. Will I ever trust completely again? will I always be this paranoid mess? Will I ever truly recover? I guess in my case maybe I need more time and therepy. I know it will be a long time before I can forgive, and I don't know that I will ever forget. But, with pain do we ever forget? Maybe when it lessens in time and the memory fades a bit. Guess only time will tell. Ironic isn't it.

Well all I have to say is thank God for my two besties. I would not be here today without thier love, support and patience.

Louee turns 1!

So our kitten Louee is now one, he has grown so fast. We had a birthday party for him. I know right, before you judge, I did it for Chris and I's niece and nephew. Hannah LOVES my cats. She knows everything there is to know about them, I mean everything. She could tell you where I found each of them, why Pugslee is declawed and Dru and Louee aren't. She is a sponge, she absorbs. So, Darren and Anne were going out for their anniversary the week of Louee's birthday and we were watching them. I thought what would be more fun for kids that love cats, than a birthday party? Except that I don't really know what you should do for a cat birthday party, its not like they can play games with you... pin the tail on the dog??? hmm...oh wait he is a dog... or at least he thinks he is.

So I decided to make Louee his own party hat and then make individualized ones for Hannah and Isaac. Yea trying to take pictures of Louee with a party hat on was hilarious, I walked away laughing and bleeding. He's not a fan of hats. Then I made mini cupcakes that were the perfect Hannah and Issac size. Then I saw these tissue paper pom poms on Martha Stewart, and decided to go for it, since I had the urge to make them, but had no idea what the occasion would be.. now I had one, a silly one but hey.

So Chris made homemade pizza dough and let the kids make their very own homemade pizza. We then lit some candles on the cupcakes, and the kids blew them out. We sang to Louee.. that was hilarious, he was so freaked out. Chris was holding him and he looked like he wanted to climb him and hide on the ceiling. Then we had mini cupcakes... the kids fed the cats kitty treats, since they can't have cake. All in all it was very silly but a lot of fun. Chris and I bought them coloring books, crayons, and doodle books for them to have at our house cause they love to color and draw. So Hannah and I colored. Then we watched about 3 kids movies. We could not get them to go to sleep. Chris however had no problems.

But my most favorite moment of the night was when Hannah was playing air guitar to Kiss’s “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night”. The girl can Rock!

He does love me

my pom-poms

homemade party hats

Singing to Louee

In their Home-made party hats
Chris showing them how to roll their dough for their pizzas
Hannah & Issac sized cupcakes
Them coloring