Mindy's Surprise Party

Well the last three weeks have been soooo busy! Working on so many projects, and events. I will get into the projects later, first the events. Alex and I conspired for a couple months to surprise Mindy for her birthday. It turned out very awesome. Alex kept her occupied all day and Autumn came over and helped me set up and cook. Alex wanted a Luau theme, and decided to do pulled pork sandwhiches and Pina Coladas. I made chocolate and Coconut cupcakes, since coconut is Mindy's favorite. Here is the night in pictures.

The cupcake centerpiece

Day lillies from our yard
Up close with the Chocolate cupcake

Up close of the coconut

The "message in a bottle" table. I cut pieces of paper and left pens out and had every guest write a message to the birthday girl and then put it in the "bottle" (or vase) so she had a surprise to look at later.

SURPRISE!

Snots.. or Autumn enjoying the party

Leebie and Malynn... I can never get a picture of both of them smiling.... LOL

Jeff, Casey and Lexa

Mindy with Candy and Erin

Mindy and the "amazons" these ladies are so tall

Blowing out her candles

The happy couple

I know my eyes are closed.....

Mother and daughter

A typical Jeff face... LOL

Well all in all it was a great night. Erin and Candy brought some stuff to do glitter toes and Mindy, Echo, Autumn and I all got our toes done. Autumn was trying to take my old polish off becuase I couldn't reach, you should have seen the two full prego girls huffing and puffing trying to get the polish off. It was pretty funny. More events to come...stay tuned....

Louee and the "bump"

Monday we had our targeted ultrasound. She went through and checked all the parts of the baby and if and how they were developing, like the chambers of the heart and organs and limbs. Everything looks great. Rhylee was so not a happy girl though, she was all over the place and getting mad. She is laying breach, so her head is up by my ribs and she puts her feet up by her head and her hands behind her knees, and she kicks my ribs. I was really sore after the ultrasound cause they push so hard getting into all the depth of the ultrasound, so I was hurting already and Rhylee was pissed the rest of the day and was kicking me like no other. She is so cute though, we got a couple good shots of her face. I can't wait to meet our little munchkin.

The lady doing the ultrasound asked Chris who do people tell you that you look like? and he just smiled and she said "Keifer Sutherland" He's like yep... she is like its uncanny. Then we we walked out she tell all the girls at the front desk and the nurses standing there and they are all checking him out and smiling and saying yea I see it, he was sooo red. It was funny. He gets that all the time.

So after the ultra sound we needed to take our 21 week pic. Well that was a story in itself. I will tell it, and show it with pictures:

okay so Louee loves jumping up and rubbing the belly. Chris is standing there and Louee jumps up and is snuggling the bump so sweetly for like 2 minutes, and I am asking Chris "did you get the pic? did you get it? Chris??? CHRIS?!!!!" yea he missed it he was texting, and tuning out the wife (as usual) He's like make him do it again. RIGHT. kids and cats don't do things twice, you have to get the picture the first time, by then Louee is in the floor with his ears laid back looking at both of us like "not on your life, I'm down and done, the moment has passed" So I was upset cause it would have been the cutest pic.
So then Chris is all flustered cause I am upset the cat won't come and he drops the camera.. so he bends down to pick it up just as it goes off.. Funny pic though....

So then Tuesday night Louee was feeling lovable again, it comes and goes with him. He is a Louee he does what Louee's do. Whatever that is. But it was sweet...

Another cute shot

This one was just funny, I'm surprised it didn't break Chris's back. Louee is a big boy, as you can see by the picture... I think his parents were dog and polar bear...

It's STILL a Girl!

So at our doctors appointment yesterday, he said well its still a girl. I am excited! Also I have a targeted ultrasound on Monday where they go through 4D and look ateverything, organs, ventricles, fingers and toes, to make sure everything is developing like it should. That will be kind of exciting.

Well I think we may finally get a crib, geez! it had been a ongoing saga trying to get a crib. Every one I have ordered has been cancelled becuase it was out of stock, and everyone I have liked has been out of stock. I finally got one the other day and it said it shipped. Grr. Margie is buying one for us and we have been trying to get one for like 2 and a half months. We have the matress, I was begining to think that was all she was gonna have to sleep on. LOL. Finally choose the paint color for the nursery. Now once we get the basement finished we can save and get the paint and bead bored for the nursery.

I can't wait to finish the laundry room. I went onto pintrest and pinned a whole bunch of laundry rooms for inspiration and ideas. We have the paint samples. We are doing a more sterile room with a pop of color. Chris promised since we couldn't and didn't want to pay hundreds extra for the colored washer and dryer that we could do at least one wall with a pop of color. We are going to do a color of turquoise. Then all of our applicances ( freezer, washer & dryer and eventually another little fridge) will be white as well as the cabinets and floor and 3 walls. I am going to measure and see if the cabinets we are trying to sell, the top part if one will fit above the W & D then I will paint one cabinet white and that will save us a lot of money not having to buy one shelf. There is this cute Martha Stewart bench that I want for in there as well, it has three cubbies for storage and a pad for a seat. Then I want to put shelving and a rail to hang clothes on above it. I am so excited for all the storage this room is going to create. help unclutter the rest of the house a bit. Especially our kitchen. In building bigger easier to access shelves in our laundry closet we can use the old pantry for all our smaller appliances, get some things off the counter, out of the basement, plus have more food storage. I am such a freak. Storage and organization are what I live for. I hate clutter it reminds me of my grandmother the hoarder. ick.

And for a random first while being pregnant, here is a humiliating story. So the other night I took a bath. Our tub is a huge jetted tub, its pretty deep and spacious. Well I couldn't get out. I couldn't get a grib on anything and was sliding all over. It's hard with a belly in the way. Chris was trying to pull me but I kept sliding. First we were laughing, then I was laughing until I cried, then I was just crying... then I peed. Pregnant bladders. at least I wasn't dressed this time. I actually peed my pants last week. I sneezed three times on the third sneeze... had to change my clothes. One thing I won't miss after I have the baby. At any rate after all the laughing crying and peeing, finally we put a towel down in the tub for me to get on for traction... glad chris was home, I could have been stuck for a while. Geez

Where I love being pregnant and the thought of bringing a little person into this world. I feel so lazy and unmotivated. So much to do, and I don't have the energy or ability in some cases. I am independant mostly, and I love refinishing furniture. I have Chris and am grateful for him, but I like doing things myself and he is having to do my spray projects. The baby dresser and shelf, the cabinets for the laundry room. I hate to be snapping orders over everything he does, but I like things a certain way, and its hard to not just do it myself. grr... it will be worth it though I have to keep telling myself. Oh man I can't wait to decorate. Pretty sure that was my calling in life. Well that is all my random ranting for the day.

Busy Weekend

Well we did our yardsale this last weekend. Whew that was exhausting. My mother-in-law came up and helped me out, and I don't think I could have done it without her. It was a pretty good sucess though. We still have a lot of stuff though so we probly will be having another one in about a month or so. Want to try and sell some more of it before we donate. Friday surprsingly was just busy, we made pretty good money that day. But Saturday, the day I though would be busy and have more people was sooo slow and we made some money but not even half as much as Friday. Next time I know to advertise in the Clipper which is Davis county's little paper.

I am so excited though, becuase we did make enough to finish the basement and probably do the shelves for the pantry. After our yardsale was wrapped up Saturday we went and looked at paint Samples for the Nursery and the Laundry room. We are still looking for the right tile though... can't find what we want. We will get there though. Tomorrow we have another Dr appt. This is when we get the 100% on whether were having a girl, finger crossed, I'm inlove with the thought of having a girl first. Well here are some pictures from the weekend.

Driveway pic of yardsale from Saturday morn

Our clothes hangers. LOL. Chris's mom is a cleaver one.
More hangers and sheleves

20 week baby bump pic. This is a horrible pic of me though... no makeup I had just got done cleaning too. oh well only look at the belly.

We have the sweetest neighbors. Kim and her son Kyler brought us these flowerrs from her yard. So pretty. Kyler is also gonna mow our lawn. He is 7 and saving up for a car when he gets old enough to drive. Seriously motivated that one is. Good for him though. Start young.

Folded laundry went grocery shopping, came home Louee is on clean laundry.. and then the nosey little shit that he is, you can see him snooping through the bag... rather lazily at that.

"Let me be myself"

Okay so I know I have been overkill on the "Me being Me" thing. But until you've ever allowed yourself to have your voice taken away, and allowed the real you to be snuffed out to please people, You'll never be thankful for the voice you have and the people who love you for it. I bring this up again because I was shuffling through my ipod, something I havent done in a long time. I haven't reloaded most of my music on here since the crash. A song that made me think and fell like you know what I agree "Let me be myself", came on. Had to share the lyrics. To me they ae so powerful and exactly what I was feeling for so long.

"Let Me Be Myself"

by: 3 Doors Down

I guess i just got lost

Bein' someone else

I tried to kill the pain

Nothin ever helped

I left myself behind

Somewhere along the way

Hopin to come back around

To find myself someday

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you

To say that it's ok, but tell mePlease, would you one time

Just let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Would you let me be myself

I'll never find my heartBehind someone else

I'll never see the light of day

Living in this cell

It's time to make my way

Into the world i knew

Take back all of these times That i gave in to you

Lately i'm so tired of waiting for you

To say that it's ok, but tell mePlease, would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own lightAnd let me be myself

For a while, if you don't mind

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

That's all i've ever wanted from this world

Is to let me be me

Please would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Please would you one time

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

For a while, if you don't mind

Let me be myself

So i can shine with my own light

Let me be myself

Would you one time... oooh

Let me be myselfLet me be me

The Good, The Bad, The Dark and the Scary...

So while cleaning out my things for a yardsale I have come across so many what nots that remind me of people and times in my life. Often times they feel like a different life, it's like standing on the side watching it happen to someone else. I made so many mistakes with my heart and trust. It's interesting to see how far I have come, but at the same time wierd to think about how lost I once was. It's often uncomfortable coming across a memory where you have to think "what was I thinking?" I have had some horrible taste in friends and love interests. I guess this is bound to happen when you are young, lonely and just lost in general. I am so happy to be where I am now. And so happy to have met a man like Chris. Without all those other bad memories and mistakes though I probly wouldnt see how rare and special Chris is. So I guess I should be thankful for small miracles.

it's interesting that this all started with a terrible relationship and spiraled horribly out of control. My high school sweetheart and I were involved in somewhat of a car wreck of a relationship. It started out loving enough then became something so horrible. I lost who I was completly, what I became instead didn't even come close to resembling my stubborn bullheaded personality. I lost my pride, my confidence, my security, my trust, and my fatih in humanity. I lost so many things, that at my core made me who I was. I felt hallow. I feel like I was emotionally raped. But I can't completly blame him, I stayed and I thought I didn't deserve anything or anyone better. Maybe when he gave me a promise ring and I promised to be his, I should have had him promise to be faithful, and not intentionally break my heart. In my self delusion, I honestly thought that there could never possibly be anyone better than him. That I could never love anyone as much as him and he couldn't love anyone as much as me. I wasted 5 years of my life, and looking back, all I have to show was learning that that wasn't love. People who love each other don't do the things he and I did to hurt each other. I mean its a great lesson and all, but 5 tumultuous years together than all the recovery time is a lot of wasted time in my opinion. Rough lesson.

Moving to Utah was my chance to start over. Get away from the small town that drew us together no matter how hard we fought to stay apart. But new beginings arent't all they are cracked up to be. I met my dad's family, and learned some about my roots. Some of these family members were and are an awesome part of my life. Some, mainly my dad sucked what little bit of soul I had left right out of me. I was already a hallow shell of a human being wondering through life trying to find a reason, purpose or just someone who cared and wasn't using me for something. And I let a lot of people walk all over me, use and abuse me, and I couldn't care or get away. I am not proud of some of the things I did in that very dark period of my life, one of which being that I was slowly becoming an alcoholic. Because I hated myself and everyone that surrounded me. It's scary to look back and think how dark my life really was, and how helpless I felt to do anything about it.

I met a few people whose intentions were anything but pure and I let them suck me further into a hole of despair, I went all too willingly though, I was a masochist that way. I couldn't see the writing on the wall. I let them manipulate, play and use me for years, and was in denial that they were truley harmful to me and that thier intentions weren't purely selfish. I felt completely helpless at times. I hated my life, I hated myself, I often thought of ending my suffering, and sadly yet remarkibly the only thing that ever stopped me was my cats. My love for them, and knowing that they would likely be thrown into a shelter and probly put to sleep. They are my babies, and I couldn't do that to them. I know for any non animal lover this seems utterly ridiculous... but it got me through each difficult day. Loving an animal, any animal opens up so much compassion in a person. Ask Chris, he never thought he would love any animal let alone a cat, and yet he does. The other thing that got me through was praying that there was something better in life, that there had to be, this couldn't be it... That there were people who wouldn't use me and spend my money (what very little I had), who weren't fake to my face and tell horrible lies behind my back, and that there were people who were real true friends, and people who really cared and basically I prayed to find someone like Chris who would love me. All of me, for me, the good the bad and the dark and scary. Someone who could see so much good in me that I couldn't see myself and would make me want to be a better person. I still feel like he is too good for me, and that I am not worthy. But I try everyday to love him and be the person I think he deserves.

I know this post is deep dark and kind of random, but it is amazing the memories that can pop up from the simpliest of things. I am glad I moved to Utah, because in my very bumpy road to self disovery I met the man of my dreams, someone to love, who will truly love me back. I found security and peace, and I get a family. But at the same time, I feel like Utah almost ruined me. I know I needed to move away from Idaho. But in Idaho I knew who my friends were. I knew so many people, but thier were only a very few who I knew were truely my friends. I knew thier intentions. I feel like I moved away when I wasn't in a state of mind mentally to make sound choices in friends and relationships. But at the same time, another lesson learned. I can have regrets, but in the end I have to be grateful that no matter how painful the raod or the lesson, It made me the person I am today. Someone who is worthy of love, true love, and amazing firendships. Someone who no matter how hopeless It seemed even two years ago, has had most of thier dreams come true.

So honestly no matter how painful the memory, or how much I cringe when I come across an awkward or uncomfortable part of my past, I have to remember to be so thankful for it, cause it brought me to where I am today. And that is sooo happy. I trust my instincts again, I trust my heart and it has taken me far in the last year and a half. I know the people in my life now are real friends and love me for the real me, and there is nothing more anyone could ever ask for.

4 Day Weekend...

First off I have to share a funny story. So Chris who is extremely hard on phones, no idea how he tears them up soo bad. Anyways his old phone was on its last licks of life and we can't afford a new one right now. Well in all my yardsale stuff I have a ton of old phones to sell well I grabbed my old motorolla pebble out its still in great shape, charged it up and we put his sim card in it. Well I used this phone like 4 or 5 years ago.. so Chris is at work with all these important people and I text him. He texts back whoa holy crap that was embarrassing. Apparently the text tone was still set as Sexy back by Justin Timberlake. I don't care who you are that was just way to funny. And of course I can see him freaking out trying to shut it up. Way too funny to not share.

Well back to work back to work. 4 day weekends always seem to fly by so fast. We had a jam packed weekened though. I was actually pretty lazy on Friday, I was so exhausted. Think I am still recouperating from when I was sick. Saturday was my amazing husband 30th birthday. I spent most of the day doing laundry and folding and marking clothes for our yardsale this next weekend. Then I baked Chris red, white and blue cupcakes. He also requested broccoli salad so I made that as well and we went over to his sisters for dinner.

It was a way fun evening at his sisters. I was kinda relieved she offered to host, I have been a little burnt out lately and it was nice to relax. Anne made the most amazing Cuban sandwhiches and they had this mouthwatering sauce. So need to get that recipe it was so good, Chris and I have been talking about all the things it would taste good on for the last few days. We also had watermelon, love watermelon. Then Chris made homemade chocolate chip ice cream, and his mom made homemade straberry and Vanilla. We got these amazing Cuisinart ice cream makers from Judy for Christmas and We make so much ice cream now. its so much cheaper than buying it and it's fresh and delicious. After dinner we all chatted and took a family picture. I got some fun pictures of Chris playing with Anne, his brothers and Hannah and Isaac. I used my coolpix camera though so the action shots are blurry. I didn't feel like hauling the big camera though. We also did fireworks With Anne, Darrin, Hannah, Isaac and Jonny. That was nice. That was the only night we did fireworks. Though from about the first through last night I felt like I was in a war zone. Fireworks were so loud this year.

Sunday we were really productive. We cleaned out the garage and got all our boxes we had stashed in thier marked for the yardsale. I got eaten alive by mosquitos. Plus we were getting dive bombed by June bugs... creepy little buggers... ick.

On Monday Chris had this amazing idea to built a little shelf for our dresser. We wanted to put the playstation in our bedroom so we could have Netflix in there, but you can't put anything on top of it becuase of the shape. We also wanted our TV a little higher up. We together we measured and sawed the pices for our little stand, put it together and I primed he painted. It turned out pretty good. You can see it here

Birthday boy

this picture was strictly for the goofy look on Darin's face. Too Funny!!


Red, White and blue cupcakes.

Baby bump 19 weeks. Though I look huge, I have only gained 2 lbs.

Boys playing

Just caught a glimpse of thier childhood. Matt is on the other end pitching.

Always coaching