Friday, March 16, 2012

Spring of joy and pain




There is always so much to talk about during the Spring season. The month of March is truly a difficult month for my wife. Betty Korb, her mother, passed away March 16th. It has been 19 years since her passing. I remember the first time I asked Nikki about Betty. Her answer was quick. "She is not alive." The tone of her voice sounded hurt with pain. I think the reason why her voice tone sounded hurt was because as Nikki and I's relationship progressed she found her soulmate, her best friend and love of her life. She wanted to tell her all about him. I could be wrong. I know Nikki would love one more conversation with her mother. One more day. One more week. Better yet, one more year. If one more day, June 7, 2008, our wedding day. One more year? I personally think Nikki would love to have her mother live from November 26, 2011 to November 27, 2012 (so she could skip the party clean up). That day was such a special day for Nikki and I. The day our daughter Rhylee was born. I was so damn proud of my wife. As a matter of fact, I have never been so proud of my wife. Our marriage witnessed a miracle. Birth to me is in fact a miracle. Nikki battled a very tough labor. I know she wishes her mother Betty could have been by her side holding her hand. In all honesty, a few people pretty much said the same thing to me regarding the delay of our daughter to enter her earthly life. "Nikki's mom and Rhylee are having to much fun and both are having a hard time letting go which is why this labor is taking so long." I truly believe that. November 26 2011 to November 27 2012 would be the start of a wonderful year if Nikki were to ask for a year with her mom. Betty could see her granddaughter grow. Betty could tell Nikki what her first year was like raising her. I think they would share great stories. I can't forget the celebration of Rhylee's first birthday. If Betty loved chocolate as much as Nikki, and if Rhylee loves chocolate as much as her mom, that would be a great birthday party to attend! We have a goal of getting sealed for time and all eternity as a family this summer. I know Betty will be there and will be proud of how far our marriage has come. I know Nikki would ask for that day too.


As I have sat and listened to Nikki talk about her mother, her family stepping in and raising her, I see signs of her grandmother, mother, aunt(s) in her in many ways. I have never met Betty, but I feel I have known her for a long time because the stories I have heard and ways I have seen Nikki live her life to the fullest. She looks identical to her mom too.

Nikki, I know your mother would be so proud of you if she were here on earth today. You are the perfect companion to me. You were put in my path for many reasons, so was your family. I can't wait to thank your mom for just you! You and I are starting many memories. Betty left her mark in your heart, you are going to leave your mark in Rhylee's (and other children hopefully) hearts.

I write this not to disrespect the unselfishness that Betty's sister Margie did for my wife. Margie did the most Christ - like and unselfish thing. She chose to adopt Nikki and raise her. Margie has been by Nikki's side for her whole life. I asked Margie for permission to marry her daughter. Margie has been a fantastic aunt/mother to Nikki and grandmother to Rhylee. She is the one who now sheds tears of sadness with Nikki and enjoys the laugh, memories, and always offers words of encouragement. She talks to Nikki the way a mother talks to her daughter. She treated Nikki the way "the favorite Aunt" would treat her favorite neice. Then the title of mother came and she still treated Nikki with love, but yet, had to be the mother, not the favorite aunt. She disciplined and hugged when certain situations occured. She was a single mother. Nikki has also had great support from Sue, her mother's other sister and her husband Roy, aka Sparky. I love Margie, Sue and Roy because they have taken Nikki under their wings and have supported us in the lows of lows and high of highs. They show true love in everyway possible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for stepping in unselfishly and welcoming her (and me too) in your lives! I believe God has a very special gift for all of you for taking it upon yourselves to "step up" and take care of Betty's pride and joy and God's daughter.

You have a present waiting for you at home. I hope this brightens your day. I love you! I love your mother for helping me find you!
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